


Frög

by MintyRamen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Daishou uses they/snake/kyuu, Everyone Uses Neopronouns, Fluff and Humor, HebiNeko mentions, Kuroo uses xey/lo/nya, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Rated T for swearing, Yaku uses he/doll/spark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29000733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintyRamen/pseuds/MintyRamen
Summary: Daishou Suguru was many things. Intelligent, charismatic, selective, intuitive. But most of all….…..a dumb bitch.
Relationships: Daishou Suguru/Kuroo Tetsurou/Yaku Morisuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Frög

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ronnishies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronnishies/gifts).



> Dear Ronnie
> 
> It’s over a month late.....but here’s your birthday gift, gay ass. I love you or whatever /p
> 
> Unkind regards,
> 
> Ore

The day you propose to your partners should be one of the happiest days in your life, right? (Well, given that they say yes obviously)

Bullshit. It's complete and utter humiliation and suffering.

Suguru scowls once more as Tetsurou ribbits alongside a snickering Yaku, soon causing Suguru to stick kyuus tongue out in a completely mature way, thank you very much. Snake almost released the palms on each side of kyuu which were swinging in tandem. 

Key word: almost. 

* * *

To refresh, the shitstorm began with a date like every other. A seafood restaurant for dinner, light-hearted bickering bordering on flirtatious, debates about hair products, embarrassing childhood stories etc. 

"But this night is going to be different" Daishou constantly reaffirmed snakeself, as he glanced at their pacing reflection. After having excused snakeself to go to the bathroom, kyuu did one last final check up with their friends about this anxiety-inducing night.

Kyuus highschool vice and often voice of reason, Takachiho Yoshiya, was the one who actually recommended the restaurant. Though, they did seem to go on a bit of a tangent about the beverages so there’s the possibility they were biased. 

Sakishima offered to take photos but Daishou was much too stressed about the state of kyuus best formal wear to recognise the malicious glint in the former setter’s eyes. With his head sickeningly atop Hiroo’s, the duo found a fountain near Yoshiya’s recommended venue. 

Unfortunately, their efficiency meant they even had the time and energy to make a “lovey dovey extra cheesy shit for sappy dorks going into eternal union until they’re old and grey” playlist which they promised to blast in the background. 

Akama Sou. ( Her sense of flower arrangement is unmatched in Tokyo) She suggested to do the proposal near a secluded source of water and decorate the area with pretty petals. Unfortunately, she was busy tonight for she had to pick up her and Usuri’s cat from petcare. In her stead Isumi was to scatter fancy rose petals along the fountain’s edge right before Daishou would bring over their partners at around midnight. 

Numai was going to be there for moral support. 

“Trust me, if things go to shit getting a warm embrace from Kazuma is very therapeutic.” Seguro said before going inactive to binge watch house renovation shows with Shirabu. 

After Akihiko dropped that hot take, the Nohebi groupchat began gushing about Numai and _completely_ ignored their duties as Suguru’s emotional support snakes! 

Daishou was just about to send a series of angry, swearing emojis when Yaku kicked the door and sauntered up to the mirror. Even after a decade it was mesmerising seeing the man comb his hair like a preening swan.

“Oi, our food's getting cold.”

“I bet Tetsurou is stealing my fish as we speak,” Suguru muttered fondly which Morisuke responded with an eyeroll.

With a final glance at his phone, kyuu flung open the doors of the bathroom and speed-walked towards Kuroo, already prepared to say a few flirty taunts about nyas suit.

* * *

  
Quiet and secluded? Check

Fountain, source of water? Check

Petals around the fountain? Check

Music? ….check?? 

Was that….Hiroo jamming on a ukulele? And is Isumi….doing opera?  
  


**CHAT NAME: OPERATION KISS THE CAT**

**[23:57] MikaChan’s Bitch /p:** SHUTY UPPPPPPPPPPPP 

**[23:58] Token Capitalist:** perfectly understandable, have a nice day 😋

Suguru relished the newfound silence and dramatically told the cat duo to hurry it up to see “the surprise”.  
  


* * *

At long last the trio were at the fountain’s edge. Yaku was poking and prodding the petals with a stick as Tetsurou held one close to nyas nose, seeming almost…..ravenous..

Suguru excused snakeself to “check up on the fancy surprise” and sprinted behind a nearby tree. 

Daishou fiddled with the velvet box as kyuu tried to control their rapid heart rate when they felt a series of buzzes from their phone. 

They opened the chat.

  
**Aka-Meow:** good luck, daishou-san!

 **Horoscopic Bitch:** you got this, dumbass

 **Pine Tree:** Come on, captain. Release that obnoxious confidence and go for it 🔥🔥🔥

 **Is He Gay Or European:** Daishou Suguru. Don’t be a coward. You’ve been annoyingly gushy about those stupid cats for YEARS just suck it up and begin the next chapter in your life of whatever. It won’t change the love you have for them and vice versa so stop hiding behind that tree 🙄

 **Nya~ yasu:** eloquently phrased, Seguro-san 

**Horoscopic Bitch:** good on ya, lad  
  


Daishou Suguru gulped a heap of air, squared kyuus soldiers and marched towards Morisuke and Tetsurou.   
  


* * *

What happened next was probably in Daishou's top three embarrassing moments alongside the time kyuu drunkenly confessed by pointing at Kuroo, Yaku and snakeself and letting two embarrassing sentences tumble out.

“We all have two hands. Therefore both of you should date me."

Suguru turned around to Kuroo and Yaku after spending the last 257 seconds hyping up themself and saw Tetsurou….. going down on one knee…..

Because Suguru is first and foremost that rooster head’s rival, they let kyuus instincts take control when they believed Tetsurou was going to propose first and did the most logical thing to ensure xey "did not win."

Yup, kyuu pushed snakes husband-to-be into the fountain. (Luckily loves phone was in Yaku’s hand prepared to take Tetsurou’s 

The silence was broken by Yaku’s maniacal laughter. Kuroo was moreso bewildered by this turn of events.

“What the actual FUCK, Suguru?!” Tetsurou whined as nya began picking out the petals out of loves hair.

“I……” Suguru began snakes walk of shame towards Tetsurou to give a hand, “....deserve to be swallowed by the ground….”

In a split second at the fountain’s edge Daishou noticed a sort of telephatic communication between kyuus boyfriends. Before snake could jump back Yaku completely tackled kyuu and brought them both down into the awaiting soaking wet arms of Tetsurou.

It was a goddamn mistake falling in love with fuckers with no dignity. 

Kuroo and Yaku ended up trying to douse the other with the shallow water and unsurprisingly convinced Daishou to join in on their shenanigans.

Before long Suguru found kyuus chest aching from the effort of kicking the top of the water towards Morisuke’s face and trying to mess up Tetsurou’s hair even more. But mostly….it was because of snakes constant and genuine laughter; it hurt but it was nice. It was invigorating to say the least to whoop into the nightly air with only the stars, the lone lampposts and the kitties as company. 

“Oh! Sugu-chan, you have a little something…..” 

Yaku reached over to violently slam the most biggest and slimiest lily pad onto Suguru’s head. 

Once again, this compelled the trio to drench each other with water for another minute or so until their lungs stung. 

“Oi, Daishou. Breathless already?” Yaku smirked. “No wonder I could always receive your spikes until the end of our matches.”

Suguru stepped back and raised kyuus finger towards Morisuke’s crooked smirk. 

“I’ve had ENOUGH. Will you two fucking marry me or not, asshats.”

“What.”

“What.” 

“What…..?”

Daishou Suguru was many things. Intelligent, charismatic, selective, intuitive. But most of all….

…..a dumb bitch.

Kyuu inhaled. 

Kyuu exhaled. 

Not meeting anyone’s eyes, snake reached into their pant pockets and was met with emptiness. 

“Okay, darlings. I want everyone to close their eyes until I say to open them, alright?”

“Nope!” 

“Not a chance,” smirked Morisuke.

“Confess your sins, princess.”

Suguru having already accepted this there was no hope to save face, decided to come clean.

Sure, kyuus fiancés did help them find the missing rings, not without first guffawing about how Suguru forgot to even propose in the first place. 

And once again, all 3 rings were found and placed in snakes damp, velvet box.

Then, dead quiet. 

Yaku broke the silence. 

“If you want…” spark began. “You could try again”

Kuroo had the audacity to wink and say xey had been brushing up on loves “fake surprised” acting for work and this would be great practice. 

So yes, Daishou scowled and began snakes entire 5 min spiel about how they ended up being stubborn brats who ended up leaping over Suguru’s walls, how they always had a knack of making Daishou Suguru be seen, past the bitchiness and the cold intelligence and all that sappy cheesy shit. 

And of course, the universe decided to curse Suguru with hiccups at the very end. 

"Y'know...I always thought you were a snake but you make a pretty cute frog now that I think about it." 

Kuroo hummed in agreement. 

Suguru was horrified to find kyuus face start to flush and their embarrassment soon turned to rage as kyuu heard the shutter of a camera from a nearby group of bushes.

".......those assholes." muttered Suguru as snake started marching to the snickering group of former nohebi 3rd years.

Before this fuming wing spiker could take a step further, Tetsurou and Morisuke grabbed hold of one arm each and dragged their favourite reptile in the opposite direction.

"M'hungry." Kuroo and Yaku mumbled in unison in response to Suguru’s icy glares.

As Daishou was getting dragged away snake threw one last look of utter betrayal at Kuguri Naoyasu, who had his phone raised with a bunch of NEKOMA alumni snickering beside as well.   
  


* * *

So now here they were.

Eating instant noodles.

Outside a convenience store.

Still in their wrinkly suits.

At 2am.

Fiddling with the rings they all now wore on their fingers. 

"Wait. I have to ask you guys something?"

"Go on...."

Kuroo cleared loves throat.

"Can our wedding cake be frog-themed?–OW, YAKKUN!"

That was the final straw for Suguru.

"Oh look, Kuroo "I'm always this nice" Tetsurou just made nyas fiancé cry."

"Yakkun...."

Yaku dollself was violently rubbing sparks eyes. He probably subconsciously thought furrowing his eyebrows and twisting dolls face into a scowl would hide his tears.

Suguru would argue that snake felt every emotion known to man and more within the last 30 minutes. Kyuu was full out sniffling and could feel their nose start to run. Although Suguru already knew kyuu looked quite unflattering, snake has come to realise that it doesn't matter; Tetsurou's obnoxious laugh was coupled with Yaku's futile attempts at make dolls teasing remarks be anything but wobbly and strained. 

Sure they get on kyuus nerves but god, Suguru wouldn’t trade their stupid asses for anything.

With a scoff, kyuu wiped some of the broth off the corner of Morisuke’s mouth and scolded spark as he started clumsily serenading Suguru with Tetsurou providing backing vocals.

“It’s time to go home,” thought Suguru.

Daishou Suguru clasped Tetsurou’s hand with snakes left, Morisuke’s with the right and squeezed tight.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter to see me threaten my bestie lovingly everyday at @a_n_ramen


End file.
